Simple Harmonic Motion at my desk

From: Gaurav, Devashish
Sent: Friday, September 25, 2009 5:22 PM
To: [Undisclosed DistributionList]
Cc: [Undisclosed DistributionList]
Subject: RE: Simple Harmonic Motion at my desk

Hi,

Apologies if this is the incorrect distribution list for this query.

I am located in ecospace tower B 5th Floor bay 7 workstation no. BDC4B.05.343. I’ve noticed some abnormalities at my desk. Between 3 pm to 5 pm my desk shakes at a regular interval of say 10 to 12 minutes. Although, the experience is not like a roller coaster ride but it certainly feels like we are experiencing some sort of earthquake. We are exceptionally unaware of the reason behind it. But, I am pretty sure that it’s definitely not earthquake as Online Richter scale shows 0 reading. Earlier I thought, it’s the spring in my chair but even after replacing 7 chairs problem still persists, so faulty chair possibility is ruled out. High Five !!! 

I have this inner conscience, whenever these technical failures come up, allows me to give wild guesses which may or may not be right. So, my guess would be whenever all the 4 lifts crosses 5th floor simultaneously, it creates a simple harmonic motion (SHM) consequently creating this anomaly. But there are many unanswered questions which are myths, like, why it happens only between 3 pm and 5 pm and why other people can’t experience it etc.

We would be really glad if someone from Seismological department has a look into this so called artificial earthquake because we really do not like shaking at regular intervals. I am assuming that Our Company has Seismological department in place, in case there is no such department could you guys please consult ISRO or NASA for the same?

Thanks in advance.

Thank You and Best Regards,

Devashish Gaurav

Shoe polishing machine is changing brands

From: Gaurav, Devashish 
Sent: Tuesday, October 06, 2009 11:32 AM
To: [Undisclosed Name]
Cc: [Undisclosed Name]
Subject: Shoe polishing machine is changing brands


Hi,


Apologies if this is the incorrect distribution list for this query.


I am located in ecospace tower B 5th Floor. There is a shoe polishing machine kept inside the toilet closed to Bay 7. I am really unhappy about the functionality of the machine.


As far as I understand shoe polishing machine, as the name suggests, is used to polish shoe but this one is changing my shoe’s brand. I recently bought a Woodland shoe and now it has been changed to some unknown shoe brand which is really annoying and unwanted. It’s only after visiting marathalli I came to know that show brand was Sri Leathers. I am really depressed. I don’t even get motivated after wearing that shoe now. Can u believe it I mean 2800 rupees shoe got converted to “what”?? I don’t even know how much Sri Leathers shoes cost but as it looks now I am definitely sure that it will not cost more than 20 to 25 rupees or may be it comes free with steel spoon as if it’s a Diwali offer.    


Also, I would really appreciate if someone explains me about the technical functionality of the shoe polishing machine. And, if there are some machines which really transform brands then it should always change it to higher brands and not cheap brands like Relaxo, Bata or Sri Leathers. Oh Common I mean these brand sounds so cheap, this is really annoying. Anyway, Could anyone at least have a look on that sick machine or I would be really glad if that machine is replaced. 


Thanks in Advance.


Thank You and Best Regards,
Devashish Gaurav

"Humanity is my religion, still Sachin is my God" - Devashish Gaurav

“After this life we will see GOD. For now we are okay with Sachin.”

“Gilly, you would have been the best batsman for me only if you wouldn’t have played during Sachin’s era.”

“Stop fooling yourself. There is no GOD... only Sachin!!!”

“Sachin Tendulkar— Reducing the number of atheists since 1989.”

“Commit all your crimes when Sachin is batting. They will go unnoticed because even the Lord is watching.”

“What do you call a critic of Sachin Tendulkar? - Atheist”

“Indian defeat was God's way of saying... 'I exist'. He was threatened that Sachin would take over”

“People say they saw Christ walk water..People say they saw Gandhiji win us freedom..People say they walked alongside Buddha 'The Enlightened One'. I will always say ~~ I SAW SACHIN BAT ~~”

Urgent need of B+ve blood

In accordance with the request of blood donation, please find below response from my side. Please don’t forget to read the disclaimer :P

=======================================================================

From: Gaurav, Devashish
Sent: Tuesday, August 11, 2009 05:19 PM
To: [Undisclosed Name]
Cc: [Undisclosed Name]
Subject: Urgent need of B+ve blood

Hi,

As you have seen my mail ID, therefore I am not going to tell you my name because it will be just like saying your name twice and as you know people should not encourage redundancy, so I will not tell my name since you can see it. I am assuming that you are not blind. Anyway, coming to the point, I am very much interested in donating the blood and fortunately my blood group is B –ve. I am again assuming that B +ve mentioned in your mail was a typo since no one requires B +ve, I mean its like 110 people out of 100 people has B +ve blood group. Okay coming back to the point “again”. There are obviously some complications with my blood, recently I had viral fever and doctors were expecting it to be swine flu, so I suppose you are on safe side as far as medical terms come into picture. Also, yesterday I have taken HIV test, the report is yet to come, hoping for the best, high five!!! My drinking and smoking habits are like normal, twice drinking and 5 to 10 times smoking per day. The only minor concern I see is, I am underweight, therefore if I donate blood and die, please feel free to make yourself responsible for my death. Waiting for your response, thank you very much!!!

Best Regards, I want to give more regards but unfortunately “bestest” word doesn’t exist in dictionary. I am searching for the person who created dictionary as I have to ask him to add some new changes to dictionary like user defined words. Anyway, as for now please don’t be greedy and take best regards only. No offence given none taken.

Yours I think truly,
Devashish Gaurav

Disclaimer - All words appearing in this mail are just for comic purpose. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead or UNDEAD, is purely coincidental, and should not be construed.

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From: [Undisclosed Name]
Sent: Tuesday, August 11, 2009 12:19 PM
To: [Undisclosed DL]
Cc: [Undisclosed Name]
Subject: Urgent need of B+ve blood

Hi All,

There is a need of B+ve blood for a patient in Ramaiah memorial hospital. Please call the below number if any one willing to donate.

[Undisclosed Name]--[Phone Number] or
[Undisclosed Name]--[Phone Number]

Thanks and regards,
[Undisclosed Name]